I recently visited my family for a few days to gorge myself on food, movies and TV, and “warm holiday togetherness.” I got what I expected at my parent’s place, but I definitely didn’t expect to get this:
“So you got a CD? That’s it?”
Because I know that few might not understand the subtleties of this situation, allow me to explain. Goodwill, like the Salvation Army, is a chain of secondhand stores that resell donated clothes, shoes and other stuff (ie CDs). Some locations are better than others, and sometimes you find stuff you wouldn’t expect to find. This was one of those times. Among what may as well have been a mountain of battered Phil Collins CDs and cassettes and overpriced VHS copies of Mystic Pizza, I walked away with this Carnivore CD.
…but not before a heavy dose of antisemitism.
Hold on, I’m getting there. So I go up to check out, and there’s a dull looking twenty-something guy filling out a job application. He was practically the definition of “nondescript.” In fact, he was so much so that I barely noticed him until he started talking about Hanukkah with our cashier and then said, and I quote, “Go back to Jerusalem.” Not to the cashier, but in general about anyone that’s making the free choice to celebrate Hanukkah instead of Christmas. Just in case you missed the part about this guy filling out a job application…let me say that this guy was filling out a job application while this came out of his mouth. I thought maybe he knew the cashier and was trying to pull out some poorly executed Andrew Dice Clay shit or something, but there’s almost no way that could’ve been the case. I didn’t even know what to say that would have had any effect on this guy either. Even though saying something would’ve meant that I would be defending a religion that I don’t believe in, I still would’ve said something had I of been able to come up with something that wouldn’t have been countered with, “…fuckin’ Jews,” after we left. However, if the cashier would’ve agreed with him, I would’ve tried my best to get her fired. Instead, she tried her best to hide her, “did-he-say-what-I-think-he-just-said?” face while he began to complain about having to list the address of his high school.
We left baffled and amazed.
About the CD: In 1991, the thermonuclear warriors that make up the band Carnivore re-released their two full-lengths (Retaliation and Carnivore) on to one CD. You can look up whatever you want about the band, but the short essay that came with the CD is pretty funny; some of the stuff that struck me as being funniest or most out of place got highlighted.
It just makes me think that, for as intense and for as out of control, and for as “metal” as Carnivore made themselves out to be, they are nowhere as near as close to being the powerful neo-barbarians that they want to be. It’s just funny to me that guys that looked like this weren’t able to beat technology, or forcibly control some sort of post-apocalyptic mad scientist into creating a compact disc able to withstand the shreditude of the two Carnivore releases. Instead I envision three puny nerds all wearing matching purple suspenders and pink hi-top Chuck Taylors unnecessarily apologizing for there being a lack of space on a single disc. Whatever, this CD is still awesome. Sketchy…but awesome.
More photos of Carnivore can be found here.
On a side note, Dragon Wars was playing at the second-run movie theater in the same shopping plaza, but we were pressed for time and didn’t get to see it. I would’ve loved to see a giant monster movie that so many people hated. It would’ve only been two bucks.