Kids, cops, coloring and a crossword puzzle!

With activity books like this it’s no wonder why young kids don’t take cops seriously. Even if I was five years old today, if some cop, parent, teacher, librarian, babysitter or other authority figure gave this to me as a means of educating me about this type of nonsense, I can imagine that I would be thinking the five-year-old equivalent of, “Are you fucking serious right now?” Which would probably translate to something like, “I could be on the internet or whatever right now. I don’t wanna color this dumb police lady book. I’m not a little four-year-old baby. I play Xbox 360 now and stuff.”

The thing that doesn’t make any sense is that I got a hold of this pretty recently from a booth at a small community event/get together/thing. I’m sure that all the tax money burned on making copies of this assemblage of junk could’ve amounted to some cop somewhere buying a totally sweet, not at all practical fantasy knife.

Could this have come out any worse? I’m pretty sure computer design and printing technologies have far surpassed the line art vomit on the cover of this activity book since whenever this image was actually created. It’s not 1985. Totally unacceptable.

Telepathic communication while on the phone with a cop? I’m lost. Does this mean cops can read children’s minds? Or is it the other way around? And if it’s really an emergency, then why is the kid so casual about the emergency situation? His toast/kitchen/food supply are going to be irreversibly fucked if he doesn’t do anything about the situation…and he’s calm? I’d be losing my mind. All I’d be thinking is, “Fuck, I’m gonna be grounded forever,” over and over again.

-How can a toaster catch fire when it’s both unplugged and has a slice of white bread not even all the way in it?
-Clearly, if you can see a remote/identify it, then it isn’t lost is it?.
-How is a kid going to fly a kite when there isn’t a piece of string attached to it long enough to allow that kid to gleefully frolic through an open field or beach?

Thanks for confusing and lying to America’s children.

Someone’s gotta color this and send it in.

Again, someone needs to finish this and send it in or leave an image of the completed puzzle as a comment. Creative answers are obviously encouraged.

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Filed under commentary, garbage

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