Monthly Archives: July 2008

Monsters & Nonsense: “Useless” Japanese: Part 1

When trying to translate an Ultraman-themed vehicle for selling “junk” (read: a manga with cool monsters in it) earlier this afternoon, I started getting some pretty funny / interesting – but not totally ridiculous – results / “answers”. I put together a list for myself, and added a few that I already knew for others to check out. To tell you the truth, I just put this up so I wouldn’t forget nonsense like “the fourth dimension”.

Just to let you know…if you have no prior experience with the Japanese language and you try to pronounce any of the nouns, verbs or exclamations below, you will undoubtedly sound like a foreigner and will impress absolutely zero native speakers of Japanese. Honestly, it’s much more likely that you will get laughed at. But who cares? I’m just hoping that some nerd from the middle of nowhere makes a YouTube video of him or herself yelling “HAKU! HAKU! HAKU!” and then fake barfs. Over and over again.

Please make it happen.

what it means

to vomit

how it’s pronounced

ha-ku

how it’s written

吐く

fire-breathing

ho-noh oh ha-ku

炎を吐く

all right!

(can also mean premature death)

yoh-sh!

ようし

hooray!

(also: hot dog!, whee!, yowzer!)

yah-tah!

やったあ

terrible

knee-gah-teh

苦手

to gain victory

kah-tsu

勝つ

invincible

moo-teh-key

無敵

to be proud of

ho-ko-rew

誇る

dude

(also: fellow, chap)

yah-tsu

ヤツ

enemy

(also: opponent)

teh-key

buttocks

she-ree

fourth dimension

yo-“G”-gehn

四次元

The following were some better examples of why you shouldn’t rely on a dictionary when translating…or at least try to use one as little as possible. Well, unless you’ve got an eye for unintentional hilarity. After being put through the Google Translate grinder, I was awarded with the gems below:

ずってやつね

came out as

“the hard guy”

敵お尻

came out as

“ass enemy”

四次元とかもしったし

came out as

“and also the four-dimensional SHITTA”

This is the website for the comic that I got all this nonsense from.

All errors are of course my own. Corrections are obviously encouraged.

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How is this not a perfectly balanced breakfast?

Why would you grudgingly eat a flavorless, forgetful, first meal like Corn Flakes with skim milk when you could down the following:

…together…

(Click to enlarge and see the above in delectable detail!)

How is this not way healthier and far more delicious than the boring sludge you usually eat?

Please note that the breakfast pictured above will either:

-make your taste buds blow your jaw off
-make you projectile vomit before you get past the first bite

Feel free to send photos of either freak occurrence (or both if possible).

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Floating On Root Beer

This goes out to Hoffman (and anyone else who backs root beer floats):

(Mug with your name on it not necessary for enjoyment.)

ps – Weekend Nachos is on tour through the middle of August. Check the link for when they’re coming to a dumpster near you.

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Hardcore section updated

Get into it.

Comments, links, flyers and photos of shows, records and shirts are encouraged.

(The page is of course unfinished, but it looks way better than it did.)

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Forbidden Transmission public access TV show

I don’t even know how to describe this show other than by pointing to the preview above. According to the blog on their MySpace profile, every half hour episode is chocked full of “brain-melting video weirdness” … the truth is that I can’t really disagree with them. Each themed episode packs together all sorts of nonsense into a sweet baklava of bizarre fit for any ADHD ridden individual. I suggest that you allow Forbidden Transmission to start invading your brain and rotting it immediately.

You can download the entire series here, or you can get a hold of Skeleton Farm Productions (who painstakingly sews together each installment of slop) here.

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Gore Shriek

I recently got a hold of a copy of Fantaco’s 1989 Horror Yearbook and stumbled upon an ad for Gore Shriek, an ad (and comic) I wish I would have seen when I was younger (and far more impressionable). If I knew comics like this existed, then I would’ve dived into comics as a whole way earlier. I would’ve lost my shit if I got this for my 9th or 10th birthday.

I also had no idea that a lot of Gore Shriek issues were uploaded here for me to go nuts over so many years after they were initially released. I haven’t really had a chance to go through them yet, but I had to get this up here. I did get through the first issue issue though, and Gore Shriek gets my approval based on that one issue alone.

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Filed under Comics, horror